every road leads home to you ♪ ♪ home roads still leads me home to you i don't see the signs ♪ ♪ the headlights make me blind the roads still leads me home ♪ ♪ ♪ when the bridge is burning and i'm losing my faith i'm trying to find my way towards the truth ♪ ♪ like a wild arrow flying now i'm blindly running from everything i thought i knew ♪ ♪ no i ain't regretting just how lost i'm getting or the red lights i've been blowing through ♪

♪ my foot will find the pedal as i'm counting the lines every road leads ♪ ♪ home to you every road leads home to you home to you ♪ ♪ every road leads home to you every road leads home to you ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: richie sambora, nice job! great job. >> how are you my friend? >> jay: good, that was great. >> good to see you. >> jay: you too, you too. that was terrific. i want to thank my guests, kirstie alley, mike sorrentino. and of course richie sambora. tomorrow night, liam neeson will be here! emmy-winner "jimmy fallon" happening right now! jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very, very nice. thank you. please --

welcome. welcome to the show. thank you so much. i love you. i feel the love. thank you. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everyone. please, have a seat. please. [ cheers and applause ] i can promise you, this show is not that funny. i can promise. welcome, you guys, to "late night with jimmy fallon." happy -- >> audience member: i love you, jimmy! >> jimmy: happy wednesday. here's what people are talking about, you guys. tonight was the season finale of "here comes honey boo boo" on tlc. [ cheers and applause ] or as president obama put it, "all right, now i can finally start prepping for those debates." i can -- [ laughter ] from celebrity news. lady gaga revealed that she recently gained 25 pounds by eating the food at her father's italian restaurant. >> audience member: what?! >> jimmy: yeah, 25 pounds of fat. or as lady gaga calls that, a dress.

[ audience oohs ] some business news. today, the ceo of radio shack announced that he is stepping down immediately. of course -- [ audience aws ] of course, no one heard the announcement because he said it into a microphone they bought at radio shack. [ laughter ] it doesn't work. doesn't work. made by tandy. >> steve: yeah, tandy corporation. >> jimmy: yeah, tandy corp. >> steve: free batteries. >> jimmy: here's an election update. mitt romney's campaign said that president obama is spiking the ball too early in ohio, after recent polls showed obama pulling ahead. yeah. obama hasn't earned that win yet, which is why today the nfl replacement refs just gave it to him anyway. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] sorry. hey, guys. can i help you? what's going on? >> yeah, we're two of the nfl replacement referees. >> yeah, yeah. we're two of them. [ laughter ] >> and we're supposed to catch a plane flight to baltimore but --

to referee a game -- we got lost though. >> yeah. and now we're here and we don't know what this is. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, guys, while you're here, i mean, you know there's a lot of controversy lately about the nfl refs -- that you guys have been unprepared. you've been missing important calls. you're blowing games. maybe you can address that? >> yeah, we can address it. [ in unison ] with a song. hit it! ♪ it's hard to be a football ref when you don't know the football rules ♪ ♪ sometimes it makes us sad when people think we're the fools ♪ ♪ we like wearing these striped shirts we also think these whistles are cool ♪ [ whistles blowing ] ♪ but we don't like when people yell at us and we never graduated high school ♪ ♪ let's dance! hands in air! hands on hip! traveling! ♪ ♪ strike three! football ♪ [ whistles blowing ] ♪ touchdown! [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: thank you, guys. thank you, guys. don't do that. >> no, we're stuck! we can't get out! >> jimmy: push, push. >> push? >> jimmy: push. >> push? >> yeah! [ whistle blowing ] >> jimmy: there you go. thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] guys, here is some more sports news. last night the angels tied a major league record by throwing 20 strikeouts in a single game. yep, 20 strikeouts in one night. or as i called that in college, friday night at the partridge pub. [ laughter ] get this. an airline in asia now has flights that include a babies-only section. [ cheers and applause ] they're not sure what to call it yet. they're debating between either "baby zone" or "ninth circle of hell." they're thinking one of those two. [ laughter ] you guys, this is not good. starbucks is facing criticism for opening a location near a

buddhist temple in china. not for religious reasons. just because there's already three inside the temple. [ laughter ] too many starbucks. and finally, it was just announced that next month, stevie wonder will perform at a fundraiser for president obama. and after that, stevie will return to his other gig, an nfl replacement ref. [ cheers and applause ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, man, we have a great show tonight. a great crowd. he is such, a funny, funny man. a very funny comedian. we're happy to have him back. ricky gervais is on the show! [ cheers and applause ] he has an -- he has a new app. talented guy. plus, he stars in the new abc drama, "last resort." scott speedman is coming by. [ cheers and applause ] ladies love that dude. and boy, do i love the music. they're back. they have, like, the number one album.

they have the number one song. little big town is back on the show! [ cheers and applause ] country music fans love little big town. it's gonna be a good show. hey, guys, raise your hand if you're either a man or a woman. [ light laughter ] yeah, me, too. me, too. and you know, one thing i've noticed lately is that men and women are totally different. they almost never see eye to eye. in fact, sometimes they can be in the exact same situation and be thinking two totally different things. what kind of things are men and women thinking? let's find out in a segment we call "he said, she said." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now, you guys might not realize this but i have a real knack for telling what's on people's minds. i don't like to brag about it but i'm kind of a psychic that way. like, for example, take a look at this. we see a mother and her son looking at a tablet computer together. they look very happy. i can tell just by looking at the son, he's thinking, "check it out, mom. i got you a new e-reader." and she's thinking, "how sweet.

now, show me how to download 'fifty shades of grey' and leave me alone for an hour." [ laughter ] that's -- that's two people, two totally different things they're thinking. let's keep going. look at this. here's a young couple running in the park on a nice summer day. she's thinking, "i'm too motivated to stop running." and he's thinking, "i'm too young to be in this cialis commercial." [ laughter ] and it's -- fun fact -- e.d. affects three out of four men under the age of 20. [ light laughter ] >> steve: you also have factual things come to you when you see the picture. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. i'm very, very smart. >> steve: it's like a font of knowledge. >> jimmy: speaking of, look at this. this is guy. he's hanging out with his girl, looking all cool. [ light laughter ] she's thinking, "i love spending time with my new boyfriend." and he's thinking, "i'm actually a mannequin from kohl's." [ laughter ] it happens, yeah. the heart wants what the heart wants. let's keep going. oh. here we see an older couple, taking a picture of themselves with a cell phone. that's cute. she's thinking, "the new iphone 5 is fantastic." and he's thinking, "i wonder when she'll notice it's just an

old altoids tin." [ laughter ] curiously strong. >> steve: curiously strong. so strong, it makes me -- >> jimmy: yeah. [ in unison ] curious. moving on. look at this. this is a nice winter scene. it's a guy and his girlfriend having a playful snowball fight. she's thinking, "this is so much fun!" and he's thinking, "eat snow, bitch." [ laughter ] >> steve: what is his -- why? >> jimmy: they're not getting along. >> they got in a little fight -- >> steve: they got in a fight before? an altercation? about the coat that she made him wear? >> jimmy: here's an older couple. they're posing for a nice photo, enjoying their golden years together. she's thinking, "we fell in love 60 years ago." and he's thinking, "i died having a great bowel movement six weeks ago." [ laughter ] have you seen "weekend at bernie's," that documentary? >> steve: yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: the documentary about -- >> steve: a great documentary. >> jimmy: amazing documentary. here's another one, here. a young couple taking a dip in the ocean together. he's thinking, "the ocean is so vast. it makes everything seem tiny." [ laughter ] and she's thinking, "nice try." yeah, i mean -- [ laughter ] i'm sure it's just really cold water.

>> steve: very cold. probably not -- probably in the atlantic. >> jimmy: yeah. moving on. here's a young couple reading a map while on vacation. he's thinking, "where are we?" and she's thinking, "judging by your hair, i'd say 1994, slim shady." [ laughter ] >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: he's got the -- >> steve: yeah. but she's just thinking that. she didn't say it. >> jimmy: no. let's see this next one, here. this is a man and a woman looking over a document together. he's thinking, "you have beautiful eyes." and she's thinking, "okay, sir, your wife's funeral is all set for thursday." [ audience oohs ] you gotta move on. >> steve: you gotta move on. >> jimmy: it's what she would have wanted. >> steve: life is for the living. >> jimmy: it's what she would have wanted. >> steve: yeah. it's what she would have wanted. >> jimmy: to the fake person i made up. >> steve: exactly. >> jimmy: it's what she would have wanted. >> steve: exactly. she would have wanted him to wear the same color, too. >> jimmy: yeah. here's the last one, here. an outdoorsy couple setting up their camping equipment. she's thinking, "you pitched a tent!" and he's thinking, "i thought my arm was covering that." but there you are -- [ light laughter ] that's what i'm saying. that's all the time we have for "he said, she said." stick around. we'll be right back with more "late night"! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: let me fill you in on a little secret. unky jimmy likes his soda. [ laughter ] but not just any soda, no. i gotta have bold flavor and a kick in every sip. that's why diet mountain dew is my go-to drink of choice. with a unique citrus taste, diet dew is delicious. it is sure to satisfy your thirst. but don't take my word for it. try one for yourself today! get the -- diet mountain dew. yeah, it tastes that good! we'll be back with more "late night," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ yeah!!! whoa!!!! yeah!!! [ smooching ] [ growling ] ♪ so you're going to give me all that for this last diet mountain dew?

yeah, i just love the taste of diet dew. nah, i'm good. [ male announcer ] diet mountain dew. yeah, it tastes that good. what about an island? [ hero ] nope. blank check? [ hero ] nah. but i'm mark cuban. [ thunder crashes ] [ electricity buzzing ] [ buzzing continues ] [ crackling ] [ whines ] sparky! you're alive! [ male announcer ] bring your creation to life at subway®. yes yes, i'll have the mustard, and cucumbers, no, no, jalapenos! [ male announcer ] experiment with whatever you love from jalapenos to honey mustard. and see disney's frankenweenie october 5th, only in theatres, rated pg. hahahaha! [ male announcer ] subway. eat fresh®.

♪ well, i have been quietly standing in the shade ♪ ♪ all of my days ♪ and i've been trying to find [ male announcer ] unlimited phone... unlimited data... unlimited life. the galaxy s3 unlimited edition with truly unlimited data. from sprint. i want healthy skin for life. [ female announcer ] don't just moisturize, improve the health of your skin with aveeno daily moisturizing lotion. the natural oatmeal formula goes beyond 24-hour moisture. it's clinically proven to improve your skin's health in one day, with significant improvement in 2 weeks.

for healthy, beautiful skin that lasts. i found a moisturizer for life. [ female announcer ] aveeno daily moisturizing lotion. also discover daily moisturizing body wash. for healthy skin that starts in the shower. only from aveeno. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know our first guest from "the office," "extras," and his self- titled hbo show.

now he's added app developer to his credits. his new app, "just sayin'," is available for free on itunes. please welcome ricky gervais, everybody! ♪ pathetic little fat man no one's bloody laughing the clown that no one laughs at ♪ ♪ they all wish he would die fatso takes his own life ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. you can't beat ricky gervais, you guys. you cannot beat ricky gervais. they love you. >> what a great crowd. >> jimmy: they love you. >> they love you. >> jimmy: they love you. >> they love you. >> jimmy: ricky, i just saw you at the emmys. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you gave out the award that i was up for, but you gave it to jon stewart. >> yes. [ laughter ] i did. >> jimmy: you did, yeah. >> the cruelest bit is that it said your name on the card. >> jimmy: oh, come on! [ laughter ] yeah, right. speaking of the emmys, do you watch american television? >> yeah, no. i was brought up on american telly, so -- >> jimmy: oh, really? >> it's still a thrill for me to be even working in america. i think it's been -- >> jimmy: what were your views of america from being british? >> i watched stuff like -- yeah,

it probably did taint my view of america. i was brought up on things like "kojak" and "the waltons," so -- yeah, new york was running away from pimps. that's what i thought it was like. [ laughter ] and driving your car through big piles of boxes. and the rest of america was fixed in rugged clothes, just like catching catfish with a pole and stuff. >> jimmy: that's the number one show on tlc. yeah, it really is. yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: has you opinion changed at all? >> of new york, i'm -- the rest of it, i assume is pretty similar. >> jimmy: is the same, yeah, catching catfish. you do stand up all over the place. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and i've seen you do stand up. you're a great, great act. >> thank you. >> jimmy: but all over the world. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i was gonna ask you, do you change your act? do you have to change it for different countries? >> no, i mean, outside sort of cultural references, if they speak english. and obviously, you do. [ light laughter ] and -- >> jimmy: somewhat. yeah, somewhat. >> a lot of europe speaks better english than us, you know? scandinavia -- all of those places. i mean, i change the odd -- i mean, when you -- when you deal with the stuff i deal with,

it's pretty universal, so, i look at my hand before i go out. and it's got stuff like, "hitler." you know. [ light laughter ] "stephen hawking." "famine." you know? "wanking." i changed that to "jacking off." >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. we have to change that. >> that's the bit. that's the only thing i had to change. >> jimmy: that's the only thing you have to change is -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: is "wanking." >> that's everything -- "jacking off." >> jimmy: they don't get that one. no. we had jerry -- >> that's pretty universal, as well. isn't it? >> jimmy: it is, very -- yeah. but just different names for it. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we had jerry seinfeld on the show yesterday. >> oh. >> jimmy: he's a good man. and he has a web series. it's "comedians --" >> yeah. >> jimmy: "-- getting coffee." no, "comedians in cars getting coffee." >> that's right, yeah. >> jimmy: and you were on it. >> yeah, it was great fun. >> jimmy: did you enjoy it in? >> well, in retrospect. at the time, i was terrified for my life. >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> because the car was a death trap. it was some sort of '60s -- [ light laughter ] british car. i mean, i don't know if you've ever been in a vintage car. but, i mean, they look lovely. they're works of art. >> jimmy: they're frightening. >> but there's no suspension. there's no air bags. the seat belt is a little thing like that. he was driving fast to make me scream. he was really -- >> jimmy: doing it on purpose? >> yeah.

i mean, it's a good job i've lost weight as well, because they're tiny. i mean, what did fat people do in the '70s? [ laughter ] how did they -- i mean, they must've just squeezed into it, you know? >> jimmy: they had no -- >> they'd be their own airbag, though, wouldn't they? [ light laughter ] exactly. if they crashed, it would just pop out of the windows a little bit and be fine. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: plump out, yeah. >> i saw -- i saw one of those daytime, awful sort of chat shows in england once. and it had sort of members of the public that had done extraordinary things on there. and there was this one guy came on. he was really fat, like 250 pounds. and he sat down and he brought on this piece of wood that he had mounted, like a dashboard. he'd crashed his car and this piece of wood, that big, had gone in there and come out the other side. and there was a picture of him in hospital, right? and this guy says, "well, why aren't you dead?" he said, "because i was so fat, it went in and it missed all my vital organs." [ light laughter ] right? >> jimmy: it just hit 100% fat. >> and the guy said, you know, "so, my fat saved me." and i wanted to go, "no, if you

were thin, it would missed you altogether." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he doesn't see -- [ cheers and applause ] that is true. that is very true. i always love every project you do. you know i'm a fan of yours. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you have a new project. it's called "derek." >> yes. >> jimmy: and this is going straight to -- it's starting on netflix. >> yeah. >> jimmy: now, why is that? >> i don't know. i think it's sort of like the future. i think tv habits have changed and everyone can get it now. you don't have to go to a channel, you know? you don't have to -- you choose what you want. and it's all over the world as well. it's instantly, though. it's north america, south america, europe, so -- >> jimmy: yeah, so you go to netflix and then you download it? >> exactly, yeah. and i'm in that. and it's a comedy -- sort of comedy/drama, set in an old people's home. and it co-stars karl pilkington. >> jimmy: we love karl pilkington. [ cheers and applause ] this guy is -- >> he's crazy. >> jimmy: now, here's my thing. you -- you just -- you just ride him because he's your friend, right? you can make fun of him. you just -- >> that's what friends do, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, right?

you make him look stupid. >> well, yeah. i just -- on a global scale. [ laughter ] you know? >> jimmy: as much as you care, like, this is what he looks like on your show. that's what friends are for. i mean, look at this guy. [ laughter ] how creepy and crazy is that? >> i know. >> jimmy: what kind of a -- is that his real hair? >> no. >> jimmy: he's bald, right? >> he's bald. yeah. he's totally bald. but i just thought i'd make it even worse for him because he's got -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: why? >> that -- isn't it weird, though? that pee-dophile look, right? [ laughter ] or pedophile. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> pedophile. >> jimmy: yeah, you have to change it for our country, yeah. >> wanking. pedophile. >> jimmy: yeah, pee-dophile, pedophile. >> that's never been trendy. out of every haircut in the world -- every haircut has come out but no one's ever gone with, "you know what? i'm gonna do the pedophile look." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's never taken off, no. >> never taken off. >> jimmy: i think i've seen it on an episode of "kojak" once or twice. that's what i'm thinking. i wanna talk about -- >> i just thought of -- not pedophiles. there was this -- [ laughter ] no, i just remembered. i just remembered this.

a few years ago, a newspaper in england sort of went crazy about sort of like -- as they should -- pedophiles, right? >> jimmy: sure. >> but they sort of -- they made everyone think that everyone was a pedophile, you know? you suddenly see a bloke in the park. "why is he in the park? he's a pedophile, right?" and they started rattin' on people, saying, "no, he's not, right?" to such -- to such an extent that an angry mob in portsmouth burnt down the surgery of a pediatrician. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: because they thought that was -- >> yeah, they couldn't read. >> jimmy: yeah, pedi -- pedi-something. >> yeah, exactly. "if we can do an angry mob, but who can read? you go in the front." [ laughter ] but -- but -- if they saw -- even if they saw it said "pedophile" -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> who'd put a plaque up if they were a pedophile? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you have to announce to people. >> exactly, yeah. >> jimmy: "i'm a professional pedophile," yeah. >> "just letting the kids know i'm in town." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you have to let people know you're in town. yeah, you shouldn't label it. you're getting into the tech world, the app -- >> yes. >> jimmy: -- world.

i'm very excited about this. i downloaded it. it's super fun. >> it's fun, isn't it? >> jimmy: it's called "just sayin'." >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's free. >> it's free. >> jimmy: how do you make money on free? >> well, i don't, really. >> jimmy: you're just doing it for fun? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you just like -- well, i know you like technology. social media is -- >> i don't get paid for this but i'm here. >> jimmy: that is true, yeah. [ laughter ] >> it's just. >> jimmy: you get paid in love and respect. >> exactly, yeah. >> jimmy: because we love you and respect you. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so "just sayin'," here's what it is. >> it's just -- it's just an app that allows you to record voice on -- straight onto twitter. so, you literally press, say your piece. you can speak up to six minutes and press send. and it's on twitter. and then you just play it back. >> jimmy: yeah, and you can hear your actual voice in it. >> yeah, actual voice. >> jimmy: which is great because you -- >> jimmy: here's the thing about -- they tried to make this, like, video thing where you could send videos, like, on twitter. but no one wants to see what each other look like. >> no, no. >> jimmy: when you wake up in the morning, you're like, "i don't want anyone to see me." >> people wanna hide, you know? yeah. >> jimmy: so if it's just your voice, you don't have to -- >> exactly. >> jimmy: get dressed up and it's good and it works. but you give, like, film reviews. >> i do bad film reviews.

>> jimmy: like, you haven't even seen the film. >> sometimes, yeah. [ laughter ] sometimes. but they all get nine out of ten, anyway. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly, yeah. it's very, very nice reviews. it's very, very funny. you gotta check that out. "just sayin'" is the app. more with ricky gervais because i want to show some old footage of you. see if you remember this. more ricky gervais when we get back, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ears are weird. i don't know what shape that is .. but it's not round. so why would headphones be round? they should be shaped like this.. 'earshaped'. you know .. so they fit in your ears.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're back with the one and only ricky gervais. "just sayin'" is his app on itunes. and it's always a pleasure to have you on. but, do you remember? we did a canadian soap opera together a few years back. >> of course, "jacob's patience." yeah. >> jimmy: yes, "jacob's patience" was -- yeah. >> i played the pottery instructor and you were a student of mine. >> jimmy: that's correct. that's right. it was fun. >> that's where i started, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, it was fun. except -- don't -- and please don't take this the wrong way. >> go on. >> you were -- [ light laughter ] you were very difficult to work with. [ light laughter ] >> in what way? >> jimmy: for one thing, you refused to use your own arms. >> yeah. >> jimmy: in any of the scenes. you remember this? >> yeah. [ light laughter ] i just had -- got some tattoos and they were really offensive. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> and i wanted to just keep them to myself and the network. so i used fake sort of --

mannequin arms. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, you used mannequin arms in all the scenes. and then, just to make everyone feel better, more comfortable, the director -- because he wanted to make you feel good, made us all use mannequin arms. and -- >> that's right. whoa, whoa. whatever you think -- i mean -- >> jimmy: well, i think it was inconvenient. >> i think it worked, though. [ light laughter ] i think it worked. because they were such realistic prosthetic arms. i don't think anyone noticed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, i respectfully disagree. [ laughter ] i don't think we were fooling anyone. we have a clip of it. let's let the audience decide. >> here's a clip. ♪ >> jimmy: hey! [ laughter ] >> hey! >> are you here for the party? >> jimmy: yes, i am. >> brilliant.

[ light laughter ] >> it's nice to meet you. my name is charlie. >> jimmy: oh, hi. nice to meet you. my name is terry. >> hi. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: nice to meet you, pleasure. thank you so much for having me. >> do you want to fist bump or shake hands or what? >> jimmy: yeah, that's good. >> okay, well, do whatever you want. >> jimmy: thank you for having me here. this is so exciting. >> so what -- [ laughter ] so, what part are you interested in making? don't think about it. >> i have to think about this. [ laughter ] i don't know, what would you recommend? >> [ voice breaking ] it's not here. it's really not here. you can make an ashtray. [ laughter ] or you can make a honey pot. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> or you could even make a lovely vase. >> jimmy: whoa, whoa, whoa. a vase? [ laughter ] >> a vase. >> jimmy: wow. let's -- well, let's try a vase. >> whoa, excellent choice. and if you follow my instruction -- >> jimmy: yeah? >> you know, you might become the wizard of vase. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: that is a good joke. that's a good joke. >> stop. obviously kneading the raw clay that's there. there's already some there on the table. >> jimmy: okay -- [ light laughter ] what do i do with it now? >> you really have to press hard to get all the bubbles out. >> jimmy: is that right? yeah, yeah, yeah. get all the bubbles out. >> jimmy: it's harder than i thought, actually, to get into there. >> that's what she said. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] next step. let's go -- [ laughs ] let's go over to the pottery wheel. >> jimmy: geez, well, i need help picking it up. >> okay. >> jimmy: i need help picking it up. it's very heavy. >> it is really heavy. it is rather heavy. don't worry. >> jimmy: all right, just drop it gently. >> just put on the wheel. >> jimmy: gently put it on the wheel. >> wee! >> jimmy: well, there you go. all right. >> there it goes. >> jimmy: all right, very good. i'm a little nervous. >> there's no need to be nervous. let's give this puppy a spin. >> jimmy: okay. >> okay. >> jimmy: here we go. >> there you go. >> jimmy: all right. >> hey, just be sure to keep a tight grip on it. >> jimmy: yeah, hey.

>> that's it. >> jimmy: this is fun! >> yeah, it is fun. you can mold it into any shape you like. that's the beauty of it. >> jimmy: am i doing it? >> yes, yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: good? >> yeah, just make sure we keep both hands on it. >> jimmy: both hands? >> the whole time. >> jimmy: both hands on it. ow! [ audience oohs ] >> oh, wow. very good. that's weird. that's never happened before. >> jimmy: it is unfortunate. >> let me show you how it's done. hold on. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] [ unchained melody plays ] ♪ >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. i'm starting to get the hang of this. >> yeah. you are. i can feel it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think i can feel it, too. >> i can feel it. i can definitely feel you can. >> jimmy: all right. oh, no! >> oh, no! >> jimmy: did i mess that up?

did we mess this up? >> no, no. that's okay. the clay was just a little too wet. [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: do you have a blow torch? >> i've got a blow torch right here. >> jimmy: okay, yeah. oh, my god. be careful! hey! i can see it getting drier. >> there you go. it is getting dry. >> jimmy: i can see it getting drier. >> it's getting drier. >> jimmy: it is. yeah, yeah, yeah. whoa, whoa, whoa! hey, are you okay? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: are you okay? >> don't worry about that. that sometimes happens. >> jimmy: it does? >> yeah, it's -- yeah. >> it stings a little bit, but -- [ laughter ] but everything's okay. okay, it's ready for the kiln. >> jimmy: okay, here we go. we have to lift it right over there. >> yes. it is good to know where the kiln is. >> jimmy: yes, it's over here. >> the kiln is very important. it's where the vase really becomes a vase. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] now, how long does this usually take? [ kiln dings ] >> about that long. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well -- [ cheers and applause ] >> yes.

>> jimmy: that looks great! >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: that looks great. >> the kiln really works out all the kinks, doesn't it? >> jimmy: yeah. >> well, let's take this thing over to the table and paint it. yeah, shall we? >> jimmy: you want to paint this? >> yeah. >> jimmy: sure. >> yeah -- >> jimmy: this is fun. >> go ahead and pick up that paintbrush because -- i mean, i think the most important thing about painting is picking up the paintbrush. [ light laughter ] in my opinion. >> jimmy: that doesn't make -- all right, i can't wait to paint. >> i can't wait to paint either. [ light laughter ] so the sooner you pick that brush up and hand it to me, then we can -- >> jimmy: you want me to pick it up? >> yeah -- just pick up the brush. >> jimmy: you want me to pick up that brush -- >> pick up that brush. >> jimmy: and give it to you. >> with your real hand, there. and give me the brush. >> jimmy: yeah, absolutely. i mean, the painting is half the fun. [ light laughter ] >> yes! let me help you with that. >> jimmy: okay, you're going to help me out. okay, good. because i'm just -- i got to -- be careful! did that hurt you? >> it's still a little bit sore. >> jimmy: okay, it's a little sore. i'm trying to do this. >> do you know what? let's finger-paint it instead. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: can you do that with your hand the way it is? >> yes.

really -- the pain should soothe it a little bit. >> jimmy: okay, very good. yeah. all right, good. i'm getting it on there. >> it's really, really -- >> jimmy: thank you for helping. >> that's all right. no, it's soothing it a little bit. >> jimmy: it is, yeah. >> just lay it on real thick. >> jimmy: yeah, now okay. i'm done. what do you think of this? >> it's not bad. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] it's not bad. for a first time. in fact, i think it's so good, i'm going to put that on the display shelf. that's how good i think your effort was. >> jimmy: i'm honored. >> yeah, let's -- >> jimmy: where are you going to put it? >> i'm going to put it over -- right over here on the -- on the shelf. >> jimmy: whoops, be careful. right, okay. let me rearrange the shelf? >> jimmy: okay. [ light laughter ] >> just put it up -- hold on. one moment. oh, careful, careful. it's going to look fantastic when we finish it. >> jimmy: oh! >> that's a shame. that's a shame. that is bad luck.

>> jimmy: it's a tricky, tricky business. >> you know, let's make another one. >> jimmy: i'd love to! up top? [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you know what? now that i see it -- now that i see it again, it actually did look pretty real. >> i think no one would notice. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: ricky gervais, everybody! download his app, "just sayin'" on itunes. stick around, we'll be right back with scott speedman! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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[ cheers ] >> jimmy: that was a canadian soap opera. >> what was canadian about it? >> jimmy: it just aired in canada. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah, that's the only thing that was canadian about it. >> i was wondering when i was watching the hands -- i was wondering -- >> jimmy: no, we had to replace gervais's hands because he had some offensive tattoos. >> that's fine. just curious what was canadian about that. >> jimmy: no. well, you're a canadian boy, yourself. [ cheers ] >> i am. i'm canadian. >> jimmy: what part of canada are you from? >> toronto. >> jimmy: toronto. i love it. shout-out to bloor street. >> bloor street. >> jimmy: yeah. >> young street. williams street. college street. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i know a lot of good streets. >> jimmy: yeah, you do. >> i know toronto. >> jimmy: but, you didn't start off as wanting to be an actor. i read about this. you wanted to be a swimmer. >> i was a swimmer. my mom and dad were big, big runners. it was in scotland. they met at a track meet in scotland and i was a swimmer, you know. i went to this weird high school for gifted athletes. so, yeah. no, i was a swimmer. >> jimmy: you had to be a gifted athlete to get in, or no? >> no, it was a weird high scho for gifted athletes, gifted artists -- and you know, that's why i was there. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: so were you a gifted athlete?

>> i was. >> jimmy: and what was your stroke? >> i was a long-distance swimmer. anything long and hard. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: now, that's what she said. [ laughter ] i had to say it. i had to say it. sorry. we have to do this. >> a mile. i was a miler. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's good. but, then what happened? you just said, "no, i want to act." >> i got injured. that was in 1992, in the olympic trials. i swam -- it was something like 20 kilometers a day. ten in the morning, ten at night. and i just got injured. >> jimmy: and you go, "forget it." >> i said, "forget it." >> jimmy: "i'm not going to be a gifted athlete any more. i'm going to be a gifted actor." >> well, at the school i was at, they had a gifted artist program. >> jimmy: so, you switched your gift? >> yeah. >> jimmy: good for you. [ laughter ] you switched your gift off. >> i started hanging out with actors and got the bug for it. >> jimmy: and "felicity." of course, we all know you from "felicity." j.j. abrams. look at this. there you are. there you are. you're a good man. this was not your first show, though? you've acted before "felicity," right? >> i have. yeah, i did a bunch of shows in toronto growing up. i did little canadian movies here and there. >> jimmy: do you remember a show called "goosebumps?" >> "goosebumps." yeah, "goosebumps" was a show --

[ cheers and applause ] "goosebumps" was a show, like, honestly, i got that job the morning of. i showed up. they put these, like, porn sunglasses on me. i didn't know what was going on. >> jimmy: you played a cop. >> i played like a cop. >> jimmy: how old are you? >> i'm like 20. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: 20-year-old cop. all right. >> i was like 20 years old, playing a cop. it was cool. but i mean it was a little tricky. i was playing opposite a young man named ryan gosling. [ cheers ] yeah. >> jimmy: another canadian guy. actually, we have a clip of you in this show, "goosebumps." check this out. >> yeah, i don't know if we want to -- okay. >> can i see, please? >> okay, but first you got to know that -- >> just give her the picture, please. [ laughter ] >> what is this, some kind of joke? >> no. >> this is a picture of a tree. >> i just must be a real bad photographer. >> listen, kid, you better not be lying to us. because if you are, we'll find out. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: you look younger than he does. you're the cop. >> i'm supposed to be this intense cop. but i really -- i feel like porn is about to break out. >> jimmy: why are you wearing sunglasses at nighttime, too? i just love it. [ laughter ] it's like too bright for this cop. >> i don't know. >> jimmy: he has very sensitive eyes. >> it's "goosebumps." who knows what's going to happen in "goosebumps." >> jimmy: ryan, man, love that dude. now you're actually a good actor. i love your stuff. [ audience oohs ] [ laughter ] >> i'm actually a good actor. >> jimmy: you are. you are. you know i'm a fan of yours. you have a new show, and i love the idea of the show. it's a different idea -- really different, called "last resort." >> "last resort." >> jimmy: it premieres tomorrow. can you explain what it's about? because i can't really explain it. >> it's very convoluted. it's about the crew of a nuclear -- men and women in a nuclear submarine. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> they get this order to fire-bomb pakistan. they don't like the order, where it's coming from. they refuse that order. they say, "we're not firing upon pakistan." >> jimmy: yeah. >> "we're not going to do it." >> jimmy: yeah. >> we get another -- >> jimmy: you're going rogue. >> we're going rogue. but we say, "no." we get fired upon by what turns out to be an american submarine.

by our own people. when we find that out, we say, "no, no, no, no. that's not going to happen." we take the sub hostage -- we hijack the sub, take it to a small island and start this new life. >> jimmy: you start your own country, basically. >> we start our own country basically. >> jimmy: and you have nuclear weapons. >> we actually fire a nuclear weapon on america, our own people. >> jimmy: scott, why? >> well -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what do you have to find out? >> well, to the point. >> jimmy: to the point, yeah. >> to the point. >> jimmy: but, that's how you start this thing. do you know where it's going to end up? >> i have no idea. they don't tell me anything. >> jimmy: how many episodes have you shot? >> five. >> jimmy: five, and do you have know idea what's going on? >> no clue. >> jimmy: okay, great. all right. [ light laughter ] it actually sounds fascinating to me. i cannot wait to see it. >> it's cool. it's a cool show. >> jimmy: something different, and i love it. it's called "last resort." we have a clip. here's scott speedman. >> i got a peek at the boat who shot us, sir. >> it's the illinois. >> our own people tried to sink us? >> what do you think happens when you ignore orders? >> we didn't ignore anything. we questioned. you don't hit your own people for that. >> this is insane. we can't hide from the entire u.s. navy forever. >> the lieutenant's right. we need to surface and wave the white flag. >> and what if they use that

flag as a target. we don't know what the orders are. all we know is that there's something seriously wrong in d.c., so we're leaving this party. >> that's your damn plan? to run? to where, for how long? >> that's enough talk. go make your rounds. >> the navy's saying -- "the stupid will be punished." >> are you challenging my authority? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: don't challenge my authoritay! [ cheers and applause ] don't challenge my authoritay! >> yeah. >> jimmy: scott speedman, "last resort." series premieres tomorrow, 8:00 p.m., abc. good man. >> thank you. >> jimmy: come back whenever you want to. little big town, performs after the break. come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ forz(power!) andiamo! andiamo! (let's go! let's go!) avanti! avanti! (keep going! keep going!)

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: join us again tomorrow night. we love her on "modern family." the stunning sophia vergara will be here. [ cheers and applause ] woo, woo, woo. plus, he just won an emmy award for his role in "homeland." damian lewis will be stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] and we'll be cooking with chef jeff mauro. you do not want to miss tomorrow night's show. it'll be good. our next guests have the number one album on the country charts this week with "tornado." they're here tonight for the first performance of the title track from it. please welcome back to our show, we love them, little big town! [ cheers and applause ]

♪ ♪ thought you'd change the weather start a little storm make a little rain ♪ ♪ but i'm gonna do one better hide the sun until you pray i'm a tornado ♪ ♪ looking for a soul to take you're gonna see me coming by the selfish things that you did ♪ ♪ i'm gonna leave you guessing how this funnel is gonna hit i'm a tornado ♪ ♪ looking for a man to break yeah i'm gonna lift this house spin it all around ♪ ♪ toss it in the air and put it in the ground

make sure you're never found ♪ ♪ ♪ thought you'd take a swing ♪ ♪ try another girl try another night but it's the pain that brings my force of nature ♪ ♪ back to life i'm a tornado more disturbed than an f5 ♪ ♪ hey i'm gonna lift this house spin it all around toss it in the air ♪ ♪ and put it in the ground i'm gonna lift this house spin it all around toss it in the air ♪ ♪ and put it in the ground make sure you're never found

oh yeah ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ ♪ i'm gonna lift this house spin it all around toss it in the air and put it in the ground ♪ ♪ yeah i'm gonna lift this house spin it all around toss it in the air ♪ ♪ and put it in the ground i'll make sure you're never found ♪ ♪ the winds are getting stronger ♪ ♪ and the sky is falling through you ain't got much longer ♪ ♪ till the rage rips off the roof

i'm a tornado and i'm coming after you ♪ ♪ mmm mmm ♪ ♪ mmm mmm ♪ ♪ i'm gonna lift this house spin it all around ♪ ♪ toss it in the air put it in the ground ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's way to do it, man. that's the way to do it. thank you so much. that's the way to do it. oh, my gosh. i love it. >> thank you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you so much. come on, buddy. little big town, come on! "tornado," check it out.

see them on tour throughout the fall. we'll be right back, everybody. that was good. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to ricky gervais, scott speedman. little big town, once again! come on! [ cheers and applause ] that's the way to do it. and the greatest band in late night, the roots, right there. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for carson daly. thank you for watching. have a great night! hope to see you tomorrow! buh-bye! [ cheers and applause ] ♪